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I went to the Bronx Zoo yesterday, which means you get photos today. Photos of animals! And not the kind that invented wars, the Kardashians, and Scientology.

These kinds:

This little guy was born in 2012. By 2013, he will be able to eat your face.

Speaking of faces, I want to kiss his. My need to touch animals is pathological.

Kinda bored. Nothing a Coke won’t fix!

Fun fact: animals lack modesty.

“So I’ve been thinking a lot about how we poop where we sleep.”

“Hi! Hey! Hello! I can sing! Wanna hear me?”

This is a butterfly, not an alien. Or is it?

“You must be tired because you’ve been flying through my head all night.”

“Cool story, bro.”

Get a room already.

“The doctor is trying to figure out my back problems.”

“What do you mean you’ve never seen Downton Abbey?”

“I mean, WTF?”

This guy had no friends. They said he had rage issues.




“What? This old thing? I only wear it when I don’t care what I look like!”

Jabba the Hutt’s younger brother, Mo.

“No, my name is not Sam. Why does everyone ask that?”

And on a serious note: not all zoos are built equally. Check out your local zoo to make sure it has accreditation from the Association of Zoos and Aquariums. If it’s tied to a conservation society or conservation efforts, all the better.