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1. Make a fort out of all the toilet paper you hoarded.

2. Drink every time someone says “Crazy weather, huh?” to you.

3. Related: drink an actual Hurricane.

4. Donate to a charity that helps find missing pink lawn flamingos.

5. Surf, fly a kite, or take a walk outside with an umbrella. In your mind.

6. Make lists.

7. See what kind of gourmet recipe you can concoct using cream of mushroom soup, beef jerky, frozen peas, and baker’s chocolate.

8. Put on a fashion show with your cat and cut-outs from the newspaper.

9. Board up your windows with graham crackers.

10. Hang a sheet from your window with a clever saying about Hurricane Sandy – something like, “Frankenstorm can suck my frankenberries!” You’ll be all over the news.

11. Use a flashlight to spell out messages to your neighbors. Ask them if they’ve seen your flashlight.

12. Boil water in the bathtub, put on your swimsuit, and pretend you’re swimming in the Maldives.

13. Read a book. If you don’t own any, read a cereal box.

14. Research the differences between reapportionment, redistricting, and gerrymandering. Then stab yourself in the eye.

15. Think about the sins you, and you alone, have committed that brought about this wrath of god.

Stay safe, everyone.

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