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I am 5’3″. This occasionally poses significant problems for me. Like when I am at a general audience concert. I try to press to the front, but alas, someone taller will always stand in front of me.

Case in point, two weeks ago on Saturday night after all the hullaballoo died down, A., my friend Erika, and I went to see The Dead Milkmen in concert at The Sinclair. I was psyched. I have been of fan of their snotty punk rock since my formative years. They haven’t toured in forever. I got my tickets in advance. I WAS READY TO ROCK.

Then this happened:

This is what I took a picture of. For real.

This is what I took a picture of. For real.

Why yes, that is the jacket of a large man standing directly in front of me. Look. I know I am slightly below average height. I get that. I will try to make up for that in sheer brashness, but this was too much. A., seeing my predicament, switched places with me so I could squeeze in between and see the concert. I saw the Milkmen (and boy howdy, did they look old). And when Tall Guy went to grab a beer, go to the bathroom, put away his stilts, whatever, I got to see more of the show. I was happy. Then he came back. And again he stood in front of me. I was starting to take this personally, so I did what any Fluevog boot-stomping concertgoer did and elbowed my way in. (I am short, but I have pointy elbows apparently). Dude was oblivious, I got to see more of the show, and so everyone wins.

The show was good; I recommend seeing shows at The Sinclair. However I was kind of surprised that there was an honest-to-God mosh pit. I haven’t seen one since the mid-nineties. I was afraid that the old guy that jumped in from the stage would break his hip. I may have gasped thinking of the possible call to the insurance company. (“Hello, Liberty Mutual? Yeah, it’s Phil. Phil Burns. Yes, I have my insurance card. Hold on, it is stuck in my wallet. Anyway, I may have reached my deductible. But the stage dive was unavoidable. I mean, how else was I supposed to get off the stage? I didn’t see any stairs? It wasn’t my fault there no one caught me!”)

I digress.

On the plus side, I have awesome tall friends who happily take pictures for us shorties.

Rodney Anonymous tells a story. Thanks Erika for the pic!

Rodney Anonymous tells a story. Thanks, Erika, for the pic!

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with tall people at concert venues? As a tall person, do you purposely try to obstruct views? (Be honest because God is reading).

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Also, if you haven’t done so yet, please consider donating to the One Fund for the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing.

Also, A.’s work colleague is close with the Richard family (their son Martin was killed and the mother and daughter wounded); please consider donating to the fund set up for them as well.

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