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First, dear reader, I hope you had a lovely holiday season, however you chose to celebrate it. I’m sorry this post is a little light, but I’ve been writing for work in any spare moment I’ve had in the past few weeks, so I haven’t had as much time to write here. I did, however, want to share with you a few of the more valuable lessons I learned this Christmas and New Year’s, partly in the hope that I myself can remember them next year.

The most important thing is to stock up on Advil because there will be lots of screaming and fighting over presents now that my kids are old enough to hit and pinch each other. A martini, lovely as it is, can only do so much. Only Advil can really cure the swelling in your brain caused by listening to a 1.5 year old shriek in agony when you take away the Lego ship he was trying to consume.

My headache was still there, but I didn't care!

My headache was still there, but I didn’t care!

The next most important thing is to always cook a Christmas dinner that involves bacon, chocolate, and an entire bottle of wine.

Mmmmm, beefy....

Mmmmm, beefy….

The third most important thing is to try not to submit stories to lit mags that are due to be rejected the week before Christmas. Even if you are good at not taking them personally (which I am, really! truly! most times), it is hard to get a batch of nos right before you have to act all merry and bright.

It’s not that important to do this, I guess, but it’s kind of amusing to watch your neighbors argue about where they’re putting the snow they are “shoveling” with a leaf blower. So I’d recommend that as some cheap entertainment. It helps to have a martini then, too. And last but not least, try to be related to someone who will give your kid a present like this, so that you can play with it:

The Eleventh Doctor lives at my house now.

The Eleventh Doctor lives at my house now. Jealous?

Do you have any holiday tips/stories to share?