I recently saw this blog post and I wanted to share it with you all. This is exactly how my wife and I feel ALL of the time. People, mostly good people with good intentions, feel that they have the right to ask personal questions about our daughter’s conception. Most of the time we are nice about it and don’t say what we want to say or what we actually are feeling. Such as:
It’s none of your F*&&*** business, or maybe, what position did you and your husband have sex in when you got pregnant with your kid?
I don’t think that most straight people would appreciate us asking them that kind of question. So, what makes a person think it’s OK to ask us intrusive and inappropriate questions?
We go through this more often than most would think and are dreading the day that someone says something like this in front of our daughter when she is old enough to understand. I honestly can’t tell you how I will deal with that. It isn’t my nature to be rude to someone or throw a punch, but inside that is exactly the way I feel.
Inside I scream, but outside I smile politely and bite my tongue.
I don’t want to come across in a negative way because at times, we represent all LGBTQ families. For some, we might be the only family like us that they know. This is a difficult burden to bear because it is hard to balance my feelings regarding standing up for my family and making sure that people are being respectful, and being an advocate for the LGBTQ community. In each moment we have to think about if we will take this moment to educate or if we will take this moment to put someone in their place.
I guess my question is: If you are really an ally, why aren’t you acting like it?